


Linger

by fuzzyalarmclock



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-03-05 14:18:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13389606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzyalarmclock/pseuds/fuzzyalarmclock
Summary: Season 3 AU. Since Lorelai's dating life stalls out in season 3, I was wondering what would happen if things went a different way.Title take from The Cranberries' song of the same name.





	1. They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They?

  
While Luke is fixing her shoe, Lorelai takes advantage of the remainder of the ten minute break, excusing herself to the restroom. Her face is flushed, whether from dancing or from her conversation with Luke, she isn't sure. She gently splashes her cheeks with water and studies herself in the mirror.  
  
His comments in the gym remind her that he trusts her as much as she does him. She lets her guard down around Luke, confiding in him feelings she doesn't share with many others, even Rory. This trust in each other has made her wonder—very rarely—if there could ever be something more between them.  
  
He's such a good father figure to Rory and he is trying so hard with Jess, it would be a shame if Luke never has a kid of his own. Her mind flashes to the dream she had over the summer. Pregnant with Luke's twins. Happy. With Luke. At the time, she thought it was about Christopher and Sherry, but maybe it wasn't. Maybe it's really about Luke, like Rory had said. _Was she going insane? It has to be the lack of sleep. That's it._  
  
When she emerges from the bathroom, Luke is across the hall, leaning against the wall, her shoe and a cup of coffee in his hands. Her stomach flutters and she feels like she's back in high school, excited to see her crush waiting by her locker.  
  
He hands her the coffee and she tries to act normal. “Bless you,” she smiles and inhales the scent.  
  
“Your shoe is ready. We should get you back to Rory.” Her sleep deprived brain takes a minute to comprehend that Luke is bending down on one knee to slip her shoe on her foot like she's god damn Cinderella. Her breath catches as his hand finds her heel and gently lifts her foot, warm fingers running down from her heel to the arch of her foot, making her shiver. His fingers fasten the strap of the shoe and rest by her ankle for a moment.  
  
“You're good at that.” Her voice feels slow coming out of her mouth and Luke looks up from his squat, surprised. She watches his face flush and he stands, opening his mouth to brush off her comment, but then she leans in and kisses him. It's tentative at first and Luke's body jolts with shock, but then his hand is warm on her waist and he's deepening the kiss. His mouth is firm and sure and Lorelai finds herself extremely turned on by his confidence. She loops an arm around his neck, the other hand still holding the coffee cup, and sighs happily against his mouth.  
  
Luke pulls back first, his dark blue eyes clouding with confusion. “What are we-”  
  
“I don't know but that was...”  
  
“Yeah.” He agrees, letting his hand fall from her waist.  
  
“I should go back,” she says quietly. “Talk later?”  
  
He nods, his eyes still searching hers for some kind of answer.  
  
“Thanks for fixing my shoe!” She kisses his cheek as she hands him the coffee cup and races back to the gym. Kirk is standing by the podium already declaring his victory. “Wait, what are you doing? I'm here. I'm standing! I used my yellow card!” Lorelai tries to delay Kirk by pleading with Miss Patty. “You didn't win! Patty, where's Rory?”  
  
“Oh, she ran off the floor a little while ago, honey.”  
  
“What? No!” Lorelai immediately forgets about winning and goes into panicked mom mode. She doesn't see Dean or Jess or Rory. “Rocky” starts blaring and then Rory appears out of nowhere, crying. Lorelai stops re-playing her kiss with Luke in her head because her daughter is hurt. That matters more.  
  
They finally leave the gym and head out into the winter air for the walk home. Rory is clinging to Lorelai's arm, but her tears have slowed to sniffles and maybe by the time they get home, she'll be ready to talk about it. Lorelai smoothes a soothing hand across her daughter's shoulders.  
  
The walk gives the adrenaline high from the dance marathon time to dissipate and when they enter the house, Rory collapses on the couch, saying she'll sleep there. By the time Lorelai tucks the quilt around Rory, she's already breathing heavily. Up in her own bed, Lorelai thinks about calling Luke, but before she can get up to find the phone, she's asleep.  
  
When she wakes, the winter sun is slanting brightly through the blinds and the phone is on her night stand, although she doesn't remember it being there mere hours before. “Luke's.”  
  
She's surprised he's answering the phone. Does he ever sleep? “Hi,” she whispers, unable to speak at a normal volume.  
  
“Lorelai?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“What happened? You and Rory were out of the competition?”  
  
“Something happened with Rory and Dean. She hasn't told me what, but I have a feeling it's going to need major comfort food.”  
  
“Right. Chocolate chip pancakes?” Lorelai smiles. He knows them both so well.  
  
“You got it. Can you throw a couple burgers in for later? We probably won't be venturing very far today.”  
  
“I figured.” Maybe it's still the lack of sleep, but Luke sounds slightly disappointed.  
  
“I'll come by to pick up the food in a little while, okay?”  
  
“Sure. Give me twenty minutes.”  
  
“Okay. And hey, Luke?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Thanks for doing this.”  Lorelai appreciates his willingness to put aside whatever happened between them for the sake of her daughter.  
  
He pauses and she can imagine his smile. “You don't have to thank me. Anything for Rory.”  
  
“See you soon.”  
  
Lorelai isn't sure what to expect when she walks into Luke's. Would he treat her differently, would he say something, would he... She forgets her train of thought as she catches his look from across the room. It makes her skin prickle, enough to make her pause and soak it in. "I heard what happened at the marathon, sugar,” Babette pipes up. “I thought for sure you and Rory were going to beat the crap out of Kirk."  
  
"I appreciate that, Babette. Thanks." Her gaze slides back over to Luke who is doing a horrible job of pretending not to watch her. How has she never noticed how she looks at her? (She has, but she's always pushed the thought away.)  
  
"How's Rory?" Luke asks quietly when she reaches the counter.  
  
"She was still asleep when I left."  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"My feet are made of lead. Tired, exhausted." She answers, even though he's probably asking more than that. _I'm not as freaked out as I thought I would be after kissing my best friend._  
  
"Well, your food is ready, so you don't have to stay on your feet." _You don't have to stay_ , Lorelai hears.  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
Off her reaction, Luke amends his statement. "I mean, you can. I figured you would want to get back to Rory."  
  
Lorelai perches on a stool and gives Luke a smile. "Coffee and a donut, please." The noise of the diner ebbs and flows behind her as she picks at her donut. For the millionth time, she thinks about the kiss, and whenever Luke so much as glances her way, she flushes with warmth. "I don't want it to be a one time thing." She says out loud before she realizes what she's doing. She assures herself no one else will know what she's talking about.  
  
Luke freezes, basically stopping mid-coffee pour and blinks rapidly a few times as he clears his throat. "Well, okay." He looks surprised. "I don't want that either."  
  
"Okay. Good." She feels a smile pulling at her cheeks and she so badly wants to touch him. Even more miraculous, she sees the rarest of rare things. The corner of Luke's mouth twitches and he flashes a quick grin at her. He has a great smile, one she wishes he showed off more often, but for now it's good enough that this one is just for her.  
  
"Yeah," he agrees. "It is good."  
  
"I should probably go check on Rory, but I'll see you soon?" She realizes they've both been grinning like idiots.  
  
"I'll be here."  
  
"Okay. Thanks, Luke."  
  
*  
  
"What are you so smiley about?" Rory asks when she gets home. "I figured you would be in a bad mood since Kirk won again."  
  
"Kirk can go to hell. I'm more concerned about you, hon. Want to tell me what happened?"  
  
"Pancakes first." Rory insists.  
  
"Smart." They both dig in, not even moving from the couch.  
  
"Wow, the pancakes are especially good today."  
  
"I'd say that might have something to do with the 23 hours you were on your feet."  
  
"Uggggggh. Don't remind me. They need a hot bath." Rory digs through the other bag of food and unearths a box of fries. "Perfect carb combo." A minute later, Rory gets up for more coffee and when she comes back, she lets out a sigh. "Okay, I guess I should tell you." Before she even starts, her eyes well up with tears.  
  
"Oh, hon." Lorelai puts her arms around her. After she tells her everything about Dean and Jess, Lorelai suggests they watch a movie, figuring it would help distract Rory from life for a few hours.  
  
Halfway through _The Out Of Towners_ , Lorelai glances over and Rory's asleep again. She leaves the movie on, but her mind is on other things as she watches Goldie Hawn and Steve Martin get into mishap after mishap. Things are complicated all of a sudden. Mostly with Rory dating Jess and all the uncertain, uncomfortable feelings it brings up about her own misspent youth. She knows Rory isn't destined to follow in her footsteps, but she's still afraid for her daughter. Things with Luke aren't complicated yet, but they could become that way. They live in a tiny town and her next door neighbor is one of the key members of the gossip mill. She tries not to get ahead of herself there, though, because she can easily spin off into what do they want and how will they handle things and what will they tell everyone.  
  
As the movie's credits start to roll, Lorelai hears a light tapping on the front door. She moves off of the couch carefully, trying not to wake her daughter.  
  
She's not sure who she's expecting, but seeing Luke on the other side of the door is a surprise. “Hi,” she whispers, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind her. “Sorry, Rory's asleep on the couch.” She hugs herself in a feeble attempt to ward off the cold air. Luke's holding a bag from the diner but he places it on the porch as he slips out of his green army jacket and wraps it around her shoulders. “Thanks,” she says softly, slipping her arms into the sleeves. It smells lightly of grease and coffee but mostly like him. “What have you got there?” she points to the bag.  
  
“Brownies. For Rory.”  
  
“And that's the only reason you came by?”  
  
“What are you implying?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.  
  
“That you might have come by for another reason. To see someone else. Admit it. You want to see me as much as possible.” Lorelai isn't sure where these words are coming from, except it is her default setting to tease Luke.  
  
But Luke doesn't tease back this time. “I do,” he admits. His gaze is serious as it meets hers. His hand slips into the folds of his jacket to find her waist while his eyes watch her closely, half expecting her to stop him. He steps closer, his lips brushing across hers. She lets out a breath of surprise at the sensation of his scruff against her cheek. His fingers make small circles at her waist and she smiles against his mouth. She could stand here and do this forever, but her brain intercedes, reminding her they're standing on her porch, mere feet from Babette's prying eyes. Lorelai pulls away suddenly and Luke looks confused.  
  
“Sorry, it's just...” She gestures over her shoulder towards Babette's house.  
  
“Right.” Luke nods. “I should go anyway.”  
  
Lorelai puts a hand on his arm to stop him from going. She has no idea what they're doing, other than stealing kisses when they can. She remembers Luke's words from before. “Did you mean it? That you want to see me?”  
  
“Of course I did,” he says softly.  
  
“Okay.” She nods, not sure what else to say. “Okay,” she says again, trying to let it sink in. “We should probably talk about what that means.”  
  
Luke frowns. “It's not complicated, Lorelai. I want to see you.”  
  
“I know, but you have Jess and I have Rory.”  
  
“That's true,” he says reluctantly, clearly unsure where this is going.  
  
“I want to discuss the details is all.” Lorelai squeezes his arm. “How about tomorrow morning after Rory goes to school?”  
  
“Yeah, sure. I can do that. Come by the diner? We'll talk.”  
  
She nods and slowly slips her arms out of his jacket. “Thanks,” she tells him as she hands it over.  
  
“It looked good on you,” he intones lowly. He presses a quick kiss to her lips and leaves her on the porch with a bag of brownies in hand. She watches him walk back to his truck and he gives a little wave as he's backing out of the driveway.  
  
Rory's still asleep when she comes back inside, so she turns off the TV and walks into the kitchen. She pulls down a plate from the cabinet and picks a brownie out of the bag, biting into the gooey goodness. Damn, Luke could make a mean brownie.  
  
She still can't believe she's going around kissing Luke. _Luke._ With Max and Chris and then Max and Chris again, she'd never really considered him as a possibility, maybe because it felt like the whole town was waiting for her to turn around and figure it out. She remembers something Rory said a few years ago. _You cannot date Luke. If you date him, you'll break up. And we'll never be able to eat there again._  
  
Maybe her daughter is right. She doesn't have the best track record when it comes to relationships and Luke is practically a monk. But at the dance marathon, when she kissed him, even in the midst of exhaustion and adrenaline, it felt so right. That has to count for something. She's curious about the idea of dating Luke, a man who has been a constant in her and Rory's lives for the past several years. Maybe he is exactly what she needs.  
  
*  
  
Luke waits nervously the next morning. First for Jess to leave on time for school and then for Lorelai to arrive. He's uneasy about why she kissed him, sure she would slip through his fingers at any moment. He doubts she harbors feelings for him like he does for her.    
  
When she appears in the doorway of the diner, his gut clenches in that familiar way, but he smiles and remembers to act normal. “Hey. Coffee?”  
  
“Of course.” When he thinks people aren't paying attention, he sends her upstairs, following a few minutes later. Walking in to his apartment to see Lorelai is a strange feeling. She's been there a few times before, but this is different. She sits at the dining table, her long dark hair flowing in gentle waves down her back and as he crosses to the other side of the table, he can see her hands are wrapped around her coffee cup. “How are you feeling?”  
  
He means after the dance marathon but her answer is in regards to their meeting and impending discussion. “Nervous. I don't know how to do this.”  
  
Lorelai is still hunched over her coffee cup. Luke puts his hands on his knees and leans against the back of the chair. “You mean you don't _want_ to do this.”  
  
She looks up at that. “Luke, no. Is that what you thought this was about?” He gives her a small nod. “No, not at all. I want this. I'm just not sure what _this_ is yet or how we want to...”  
  
“I'd like to take you out on a date. If that's okay.”  
  
She glances down shyly and then back up, a small smile on her face. “I'd like that.”  
  
“Okay, so when are you free?”  
  
“Luke.” He braces himself, knowing it's coming. “I don't know how to date you. Not in this town. I'd really like for this to be private and I don't see how it possibly can be.”  
  
There's truth to her argument but he also hears it as an excuse. “Then tell me what you want to do.” He doesn't want to tell her how long he's been waiting for this. He doesn't want to lay all his cards out on the table yet. “Do you want to keep it under wraps?”  
  
She eyes him. “Do you think we can?”  
  
“I know I can.” Who was he going to tell? Jess? It hurts a little that she wants to keep this hidden, but he also understands. It feels too precious to display for just anyone.    
  
“Are you implying that I can't?” She raises an eyebrow.  
  
“Well, I assume you tell Rory everything, which just got a lot scarier, considering...” Lorelai giggles.  
  
“I don't tell her details, Luke, if that's what you're worried about. In fact, with everything going on with Jess and Dean, I haven't told her anything yet.”  
  
“Oh, well, good. I mean, I guess.” It isn't any of his business what Lorelai shared with Rory.  
  
“I'm free on Wednesday,” Lorelai offers. “Well, if you don't mind going to dinner early. Rory has her newspaper stuff that day, so she's usually not home until 8.”  
  
“Wednesday's fine. Pick you up at 6?”  
  
“How about I meet you there?”  
  
“Lorelai,” he says warningly.  
  
“You have plenty of time to be chivalrous, Luke. I won't count it against you.”  
  
He sighs, giving in. “Where do you want to go?”  
  
“I'm not picky,” she smiles. “Somewhere in Litchfield?”  
  
“Okay, I'll find a place and let you know.”  
  
“That sounds perfect.” Even though he's already thinking this plan of hers is crazy, seeing her smile across the table at him is worth it. “I should probably get to work.” She gets up and he follows suit, following her to the door. She turns back to look at him and he takes a breath, waiting a moment to make sure this is what she means, before kissing her. Every kiss is still so new and delicate. This time, instead of one hand at her waist, he puts both his hands on her hips and pulls her in to him. Her hands are pressed into his chest and her fingers clutch his flannel shirt.  
  
“Have a good day,” he murmurs in her ear. She smiles and briefly drops her face into his shoulder and murmurs something against him. “What was that?” he asks.  
  
She straightens up and repeats herself. “I said, 'You too'.” She squeezes his arm and then she's gone, her heels clicking down the stairs, the scent of her perfume in the air.


	2. Let The Games Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The chapter titles correspond to the episode titles of season 3. 
> 
> On the drive home, Lorelai doesn't even mind that the Jeep radio is stuck on the easy listening station because she's too busy thinking about how Luke looked in that shirt, the warmth of his hands, and the shape of his lips. 
> 
> This was bad.

_Let The Games Begin_

 

When she gets home from work, there's a brief message on the machine. “Hey, it's Luke. Call me at the diner when you get this. Thanks.” Even though the message is cryptic, she's glad Rory isn't home to hear it. She knows Rory would ask questions. Damn her journalistic instincts.

“Hey,” she says when Luke answers. “You rang?” 

“Oh, yeah. Hold on a sec.” She can hear the din of the diner fade as he likely pulls the phone into the storage room. “I found a couple options for Wednesday. One is the Litchfield Inn. The other is Hopkins Inn, which has vineyards and a lake or a pond or something. That's what the woman on the phone said.” 

“You called these places?” Lorelai is touched at how much time he put into this. 

“Yeah. But if you've been to either of these, we can go somewhere else. I thought you might have because of your job.” He was rambling. 

“Luke. They both sound great.” She cuts in. “Let's go with the water. Hopkins.” 

“Okay. See you Wednesday.” 

“See you then,” she agrees. 

On Wednesday, she keeps thinking about spending an evening with Luke in a romantic setting. It's unnerving, but also exciting. Michel catches her smiling to herself. “Why are you so happy?” he drawls.

“Nothing.” She insists, trying to wipe the smile from her face. 

Luke is waiting for her at Hopkins. She almost doesn't recognize him in a light blue button up and dark slacks. He guides her to the dining room, a firm hand at the small of her back, and her stomach does somersaults. As they sit down at their table, her knee awkwardly bumps his. “Sorry,” she apologizes but Luke simply puts a hand on her knee and gives it a squeeze, leaving his leg touching hers. She is caught off guard by how good he is at this. The view from their table of the back lawn and the lake below is stunning. The sun is fading into the horizon and light shimmers across the surface of the water.

Luke lightly puts a hand over hers. “Hi.”

“Hi.” She can't help but smile. 

“You nervous?” 

“Extremely.” 

“Thank god,” he intones.

“You too?” She's surprised. He seems confident and smooth. 

“Oh, yeah.” 

“The kissing is easier.” 

He chuckles. “Yeah, I suppose so.”

“But this is nice, too.” She threads her fingers through his. 

There it is, that illusive smile of his. “Good.”

“The view is beautiful.” 

Luke doesn't take his eyes off her as he replies, “Yeah, it is.” She can feel herself blushing, his compliment actually rendering her speechless for a minute.

After ordering their food, Lorelai finally remembers how to act on a first date and the two of them fall into easy conversation and banter. As they're wrapping up the meal, dessert for her, tea for him, Luke puts a hand on her knee. “Why did you kiss me?”

“Oh.” A thousand reasons float through her head, but none of them sound good enough. She puts down her fork. “I guess because of our conversation. Sometimes I feel like you're the only person I can talk to. Does that make any sense?” 

“Not Sookie? Or Rory?” 

“Okay, the only male person. I just thought...maybe.” _Because I dreamed about you. Because you know me._

“Okay,” he replies, clearing his throat. It's the only time all evening she's seen him rattled and she thinks maybe he's freaking out because their conversation at the dance marathon was about kids and she can practically see his panic at the thought of having a kid, much less having one with _her_. Personally, it was pretty far down on her bucket list, already having a fully functional one at home. 

“I want to see where this goes,” she clarifies. 

After dinner, they follow the lighted pathway down to the lake. The water is black but its rhythmic lapping at the shore is soothing. Luke slips an arm around her and she leans in to him, taking in his smell, his warmth. “Tonight was nice,” she tells him. “Although, the kissing is nice too.” She teases.

He chuckles and she turns into him, looking up at him in the dim light. He takes her face gently in his hands and softly kisses her. It's so different than the previous kisses they've shared but it leaves her breathless in the same way. Her legs are shaky, so she leans into Luke and traces her fingers softly along his jaw. Even in the darkness, she can see his eyes flutter closed and she presses up on her tiptoes to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

His arm around her, they walk back to the parking lot and he kisses her by the Jeep. “I'd like to do this again,” he says.

“Me too.” She nods. “And I'll see you tomorrow. For coffee.” 

“I'll be there.” 

On the drive home, Lorelai doesn't even mind that the Jeep radio is stuck on the easy listening station because she's too busy thinking about how Luke looked in that shirt, the warmth of his hands, and the shape of his lips.

_This was bad._ She isn't sure she has ever felt this strongly about someone so early on. As soon as she thinks it, she can feel the anxiety twisting her gut. _This felt too easy, too good to be true._

When she arrives home, the lights are on and she prepares herself for the Spanish Inquisition from Rory, only to find a note from her daughter saying she is at Lane's. It's late for Lane's, so she assumes Rory is really hanging out with Jess. She doesn't even feel she can bust Rory on it, considering she hasn't told her daughter the truth about Luke.

*

They make Wednesday their date night and steal other moments away together when they can, including a Saturday night while Rory and Jess are out at a movie. She should have expected that when one area of her life is going well, another area would go poorly. Still, she didn't see her parents' Yale ambush coming. In the midst of everything, the one thing she wants is to hear Luke's voice.

When he answers “Luke's” she feels her face crumple. “Hi, it's me,” she sniffles.

“Lorelai? Geez. Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, everything's great.” She replies sarcastically. 

“Hold on. Hold on. I'm going to the back room. Okay, I'm here.” She tells him the whole debacle and Luke is appropriately pissed at her parents. She feels better hearing he has her back. 

“Thanks for listening. I should go find Rory so we can get out of here.” 

“Do you need anything? I can come pick you up.” 

A moment earlier, Lorelai had been in a panic trying to call a cab company, but she knows she can't have Luke drive all the way down here, as much as she may want to see his face. “That's very sweet of you, but we'll be okay.”

“Okay. Swing by the diner when you get back?”

“I'll try.” 

“Hey, you got this.” 

“Thanks, Luke.” Her eyes brim with tears but not because she's upset with her parents (although there's that too) but because Luke is the voice she wanted to hear. 

“Bye, Lorelai.” 

Later, after they invade the diner with tacos and Lorelai teases Luke about chasing after Jess and Rory, she walks home, feeling deflated by the events of the day. When she reaches the edge of her yard, Luke is sitting on her porch steps. “What happened to your Jess and Rory tirade?”

“If they can use code to meet up, so can we.” 

“Is that what you were doing? Storming off angrily means. 'I'll be on your porch'?” 

“No, but I like that,” he chuckles. “It occurred to me that I cared more about how you were feeling.” 

She lets out a sigh, not sure she has an answer for that question. “Are you coming in?”

“What if Rory comes home?” 

“Then we'll say you were looking for Jess.” He rises to his feet and takes the duffel bags from her hands and carries them inside. 

As soon as he drops them in the entryway, she reaches out and grasps his wrists as she steps into him for a kiss. He breaks the kiss only to drop a trail of kisses along her neck as his fingers run softly through her hair. “I was worried about you.” His breath is hot on her ear.

“I needed to hear your voice,” she replies softly, her hand tracing lightly down his chest. “Thank you again.” 

“You're welcome.” She leans into him, her arms around his neck, letting him hold her for a long time. “Hey, I've been meaning to ask if you were going to come by on Thanksgiving.” 

“You bet, mister.” She manages a smile as she pulls back half an inch to look at him. “I wouldn't miss those sweet potatoes. Or that pie. Or seeing your cute butt.” 

“Lorelai.” Luke rolls his eyes but he's blushing. “My butt is not cute.” 

“I got a look at it in those trousers of yours and trust me, it's cute.” 

“Now you're just torturing me.” 

“Pretty much. But it's true.” Lorelai kisses him again, paying special attention to his bottom lip, which makes Luke let out a groan. His stubble scratching against her skin creates an increasing heat in her stomach. She doesn't want to be too eager, but their make out sessions can only go so far. “We,” she murmurs in between kisses. “May need to figure out this sooner rather than later.” 

“This?” He raises an eyebrow. 

She gestures to them. “This.”

“Oh.” He swallows thickly and brings their kissing session to a halt. 

“I mean, I don't want to rush it...” Lorelai hopes she hasn't said the wrong thing. 

“No, you're right. We can't keep making out like teenagers.” 

“Well, we _could_ , but I rather like being an adult.” 

“Me too.” 

“So.” 

“Yeah.” 

“We'll have to come up with something to tell Jess and Rory,” she says carefully. 

“Right.” 

“That's not very romantic, is it?” 

“Lorelai, I-” They both hear something out on the porch and Lorelai pulls Luke around the corner and into the kitchen. “I'll go out the back.” He gives her hip a squeeze and then he's gone. She can hear Rory in the entryway and then she appears in the kitchen. 

“Hey!” Lorelai says, perhaps a little too jovially because Rory gives her a strange look, but she seems to chalk it up to the crazy mom factor because she doesn't ask any questions. 

 


	3. Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving

The Monday before Thanksgiving, Luke gets a frantic call from Lorelai. “Can you help me? I think I have a bat in my attic. Or some kind of bird? Anyway, I can hear it flapping around up there and I don't know what to do.”

“Give me ten minutes.” He's not sure he'll be much help getting a bird (or bat) out of her attic considering their luck with chasing down Rory's school project, Stella, but he's always willing to help Lorelai. When she answers the door, she's smirking at him. “What?” 

“You brought Bert?”

“It might come in handy.” 

“Were you going to hit the bird on the head with a hammer?” 

“Never mind. So where did you hear it?” 

She closes the door behind him and he sets Bert out of the way. “Um, so there's no bird.”

“Is it a bat? How do you know if you haven't gone up there?” 

“Luke, there's no bat. There's nothing in my attic.” 

He stares at her for a second. “Oh.”

“Rory's at some thing with Paris and it sounded like she would be late getting home, so...” Lorelai is looking at him hopefully. 

His hands are shaking but he manages to put his hands around her waist and pull her close. “God, yes,” he murmurs before kissing her.

*

Despite the events at her parents' house, Lorelai finds herself thinking about her earlier exchange with Luke on the drive back to Stars Hollow.

_I don't have a vase._

_You do this every year._

_I don't have a vase._

_Buy a vase._

_But I don't need a vase because I never have flowers._

“I'm going to swing by the diner,” Lorelai informs Rory. “I feel bad we didn't get to stay for very long.” 

“That's fine.” Rory nods. But as they're driving through Stars Hollow, they see the shenanigans still happening at Sookie and Jackson's. 

“Ooh, change of plans. We need to check on Sookie.”

By the time they make it to the diner, Lorelai is feeling pretty dead on her feet and doesn't even mind when Rory stops outside to find Jess. It will give her a moment with Luke.

Once she sees the diner is empty, she says, “I liked the whole bickering thing earlier. Felt very natural, very believable.” She expects a chuckle but instead he glowers at her from under his baseball cap.

She's assuming he didn't have a very good rest of the night either when he says, “Lorelai, I don't want to keep hiding this.”

“I know.” She lets it out in a breath. She's feeling guilty that she has kept this from Rory for so long. But before Lorelai can say anything else, Rory appears in the doorway of the diner and she glances at Luke, knowing they have to put the conversation on hold. Rory comes to sit next to Lorelai at the counter.

Luke pours them coffee, asking, “So, how did the four dinners work out? You guys must feel more stuffed than you’ve ever been.”  
  
“I don’t know. Is this more stuffed than the great Six Flags hot dog consumption of ‘99?”  
  
“No,” Rory shakes her head. “Or the taffy binge of ’97.”  
  
“Not by a long shot. See, we didn’t eat at my parents because of the upset, so we really had three dinners, not four.”  
  
“Which means. . .” Rory's eyes widen.  
  
“What?”  
  
“We didn’t have to skip rolls.”

  
“Oh, yeah. Hey, do you have any rolls left?” Lorelai asks.  
  
“No. Come on.” Luke looks disturbed.  
  
“Just a little something for the walk home,” she smiles. Luke reaches back on the counter behind him and hands over a bag of rolls.  
  
“I don’t see how you do it.” He says, a smirk playing across his face.  
  
“Well, you’re not us, are ya? Night Luke.”  
  
“Night, Luke.”  
  
“Night.”

*

Lorelai comes in the next morning on her own. “Where's Rory?” Luke asks.

“Still sleeping off the food coma.” Her routine of coming in to Luke's has grown even more special in the last few weeks and she smiles up at him. Luke's has always been an oasis of calm for her, a break from problems at the inn or in her personal life, and now it's holy ground for a completely new, exciting reason. “How was the rest of your Thanksgiving?” Considering how the dinner at her parents had gone, she feels even worse for having to leave their late afternoon Thanksgiving meal at Luke's so abruptly, but glad they had stopped by after all. 

“Uneventful for the most part. Although, Kirk did almost choke to death on the wishbone.” 

She has to stifle a laugh to keep coffee from out of her nose. “This town,” she sighs romantically.

“You're in a good mood considering your evening didn't end on such a high note. What happened?”

“Thanks for reminding me,” she says darkly and he holds up a hand in apology. “Rory applied to Yale.” She lets it out in one breath, hoping to somehow expel it from reality. 

Luke looks appropriately horrified. “Yale!? What happened to Harvard?”

“She applied to Harvard, too.” Lorelai admits. “But applying to Yale, she kept it from me. And my parents said they didn't know until last night, but how could they not? They practically forced her to talk to the admissions guy there, they had to know she would apply if only to satisfy them. You know Rory.” 

“It doesn't mean she's going to go to Yale, Lorelai.” Luke replies, firmly but gently. “I'm sure she applied to other schools, too.”

“She did. She said Chilton pretty much required them to.” 

“That's smart.” Luke gets interrupted by an order in the kitchen but when he returns from taking the plates out, he pauses in front of her again, looking unsettled. Lorelai knows he, like everyone else, has an opinion about this. 

"What? You can say it."

"Would it be so bad if Rory went to Yale? I mean, it's her decision, of course, but she would be closer. I can't imagine you would object to that."

"I know," Lorelai relents. "That's what Rory said, too. She said she could live at home and while I would love that, I think she needs to go off and do the college thing on her own. Believe it or not, I actually want that for her." While she is still firmly in the Harvard camp, the only thing which slightly sways Lorelai from leaning towards those ivy-covered gates is the proximity to Christopher and his soon to be new brethren. If Rory wants to get to know her new step-mom and sister, then that's what she should do, but it doesn't mean Lorelai has to be comfortable with it.

"I believe you. You're a good mother and you want the best for her. I know you're upset at your parents, but forget about them and focus on Rory. This is a really exciting time for her."

"I know," Lorelai beams, thinking of Rory's face after they left the Springsteen house. "Thanks for being the voice of reason, as always."

"Anytime." He nods at her.

 


	4. That'll Do Pig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe there is no perfect time to tell her he's been falling for her since she walked into his diner eight years ago. Maybe it's something that goes best unsaid. Words have never been his strong suit anyway.
> 
> Author's Note: Instead of writing about the winter carnival episode, I chose to celebrate the holidays with the Gilmores instead.

“Hey hon, I was thinking. Since Jess is at his mom's, Luke is alone for Christmas and I thought it might be nice to invite him over.” She and Rory have their own holiday traditions and Lorelai doesn't want to intrude on those, but Luke is often there for them on holidays, so she hopes it isn't a strange request to include him.

“As long as he promises to leave the Grinchitude at home.” Rory says playfully.

“He will. Besides, you're his Cindy Lou Who.”

“Mom,” she replies, embarrassed.

“You are. I've never seen Luke try so hard at gifts and fail so miserably.”

“They weren't all flops. I still have my monogrammed towel and washcloth. And I kept one of the unicorn figurines.” Lorelai finds herself thinking about how Luke and Rory's relationship has changed over the years. He grudgingly accepted that if the biggest coffee fanatic in town was going to give him her business that meant she would be bringing along her 11-year-old daughter. Once Luke began to understand Rory wasn't like other kids—she wasn't loud, didn't run, and didn't have jam hands—a respect began to grow between the two of them. Luke sometimes commented on the books Rory was reading and occasionally she would convince him to give her the tiniest bit of coffee in her hot chocolate.

Now he was someone who would storm off into the night to search for her, to make sure she was safe, even if the threat he was worried about was his own nephew, and Rory, Rory couldn't be counted on to cater to her own mother's whims or arguments anymore, often times siding with Luke. It should bother Lorelai, that her own daughter would side with a man who isn't a blood relation, but instead, it reassures her that Rory hasn't completely lost out on having a father figure in her life.

Despite her repeated protests about Luke being a guest, he insists on providing the food and surprises Lorelai with a bottle of wine. “It's Christmas,” he explains. “Beer didn't seem appropriate.”

“Well aren't you Emily Post?” She almost leans in to kiss him, forgetting for a moment that Rory is right there, but stops herself before things go down that awkward road. As she's opening the wine in the kitchen, she can hear Rory telling Luke about their evening plans, which includes a double feature.

When she comes in, offering Luke a glass of wine, Rory is talking about _Miracle on the 34_ _th_ _Street._

“Is that the one where Natalie Wood pulls on his beard?” Luke asks, nodding at Lorelai as she passes him the wine.

“That's the one.”

“I prefer the older version of Natalie Wood.”

“Oh, Luke has a thing for Natalie Wood.” Rory teases.

“No, I-” He gives up, flustered.

“It's okay. You have good taste.” She soothes.

“Classic taste,” Lorelai comments.

“You kind of look like Natalie Wood,” he says and Lorelai feels herself blush.

The only way she knows to get out of the situation without making it more awkward is by making a joke. “Remind me not to go on any boats with you.”

“Then let's watch _It's A Wonderful Life_!” Rory exclaims, swiftly and unknowingly changing the subject. Lorelai puts in the movie and as she turns to make her way back to the couch, she catches Luke's eye, a small smirk on his face.

She takes a seat next to him, wanting to sit close but not so close that Rory will notice. She grabs a pillow and cradles it across her stomach, nervously eyeing Luke every few minutes. He keeps moving his hands. First, they're on his knees, then in his lap, then he crosses his arms across his chest, and finally, lets his arms down by his sides, one of his hands resting near her. Rory's sitting on the floor, her back to them, so Lorelai reaches over and brushes her fingertips along his wrist. Luke grasps her fingers in his for a moment before letting them go, but they keep their hands inches apart on the couch.

By the end of the movie, both Rory and Luke are choked up and it's enough to almost bring Lorelai to tears. “Look at my two softies,” she coos.

“You're the freak. What's wrong with you?” Luke demands as he tries to subtly wipe the tears from his eyes.

“Oh, Mom is made of stone.” Rory chimes in. “She's never cried at this movie.”

Lorelai shrugs. “Chalk it up to my childhood. You don't live in the Gilmore house for 16 years without a little ice water in your veins.”

Even though Lorelai and Rory planned to stay up and watch _Love Actually_ , Rory's yawning signals an early end to the evening. Luke stands and stretches. “Merry Christmas, Rory.” She comes over to give him a hug.

“Happy holidays, Luke. Thanks for watching with us. This was fun.” She gives Lorelai a hug too.

“Merry Christmas, hon.”

“Thanks, Mom. Good night.”

When they hear her door close, Lorelai looks up at Luke. “She's a good kid.”

“I know.” Lorelai nods. “I got lucky.”

“No, you did that. On your own.”

“I had some help. From this town. From you.”

“You didn't need my help.”

“But I'm grateful I had it.” Lorelai loops an arm around his neck, her fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck. “Merry Christmas.” she whispers before kissing him.

Luke's face is flushed when they break apart. “But Rory...”

“She sleeps like the dead.” Lorelai replies, shrugging. Her fingers brush his cheek. “Besides, don't you want to unwrap your present?” Luke makes a low noise in his throat and doesn't object when she pulls him towards the stairs.

Where their first few times together had been rushed and needy, they're familiar enough with each other by now they can take their time. Luke sets the pace, moving slowly and reverently, worshiping her in a way that makes her overwhelmed and unexpectedly emotional. “Hey, are you okay?”

“I'm wonderful. I-” It's on the edge of her tongue, everything she wants to tell him, but she knows it will be too much. “Keep going,” she whispers instead.

He brushes his thumb across her cheeks and kisses her softly. His gaze is unwavering and she meets his eyes, both watching each other as they unspool. First him, then her. As she lies in his arms afterwards, she feels the shift. Things have changed between them. They're in new territory now.

“Hey,” he says, a hand sweeping down her neck and tracing delicately along her collarbone.

“I'm fine, Luke,” she says softly. “I promise.”

He studies her for a moment and then kisses her. “I should go.”

She hesitates but as he rolls over and starts to get dressed, he hears her voice, muted in the dark. “Stay. Please?”

His back is to her, but he freezes. “What about...”

“If this is the way she finds out, then so be it. I just need you.” Her voice catches and Luke is already slipping back under the covers with her.

“I'm here.” He holds her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, and moves his hand soothingly along her spine. She appreciates that he doesn't press her, asking what's wrong, or worrying whether he did something to make her so emotional. He's simply there.

It's still dark out when she feels Luke moving beside her. “I'm going,” he whispers, kissing her quickly and giving her shoulder a squeeze.

“I'll see you later. Thanks for staying.”

“Anytime, Lorelai.” He kisses her again.

Lorelai can't go back to sleep. She lies awake thinking about how last night felt different. Weighted. Normally, this was the time when she panicked and got out before things got serious. Part of her feels the same way with Luke, but part of her wants more of him. With him, she lets herself be vulnerable, something she's never done with anyone else.

She wonders what Rory would say about all of this. She misses having her daughter as a sounding board.

*

It's a cheesy idea. Luke knows she'll tease him about not being a holiday guy, but she makes him want to celebrate these things. With her. He sees her everyday in the diner, but he can't tell her there, so finally during their usual date on Wednesday, he asks if she has plans for New Year's Eve.

“There are some guests staying at the Inn who are having a party, but Michel said he would work that night.” She looks up at him, curiosity flashing across her face. “Why?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to spend it with me...” He feels his face flush.

To her credit, she doesn't laugh or make a joke. Instead, she smiles. “That would be nice, yeah.” She waits on him to elaborate and when he doesn't, she asks, “Is there a catch?”

“No, well, maybe. I booked a room at Hopkins, you know, the inn in Litchfield where-”

“We had our first date,” she finishes his train of thought. “I remember. It was beautiful.”

“But I wasn't sure what to do about Jess and Rory.”

“Right.” Lorelai thinks for a minute and then giggles. “I can't believe you got us a room. On New Year's Eve.”

He shakes his head, knowing this was inevitable. “Don't start.”

“I'm not! It's cute.” She rubs a hand over his arm.

“You could tell Rory you're working the party at the inn.”

“Good idea, but she would still expect me to come home.” Lorelai doesn't like the idea of telling Rory she was going to be somewhere when she was actually going to be out of town. “Did you think of something to tell Jess?”

“I told him I had a date and I was going to be in Litchfield.” Luke shrugs. “He doesn't ask a lot of questions.”

“Hmm, I guess I could tell Rory a similar story. I'm sure she and Jess will make plans for New Year's.”

“Oh god, I didn't think of that.” Luke groans. “Maybe we shouldn't leave town on New Year's Eve.”

Lorelai can't stop herself from laughing, even though Luke is displaying worry for her kid. “I don't think us being in town is going to stop them from...”

“Don't finish that sentence.” He lets out a sigh. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”

“It's a very good idea.” She punctuates her sentence with a kiss and Luke relaxes against her.

*

They keep their New Year's Eve plans, although the intricate plotting to make it work gives Lorelai pause. She still hasn't informed Rory of the Luke situation. Rory seems a little suspicious when she admits to having a New Year's Eve date and says she won't be home until the next afternoon, but Lorelai is an adult and can do what she wants. She's had enough guilt directed at her by her mother and she shouldn't feel the same from her own daughter.

She meets him there. When she pulls into the parking lot, she can spot Luke leaned up against his truck waiting for her and her stomach flips. When they started this, she honestly had no idea he could make her feel this way. She hadn't expected to fall so hard for her best friend. She grabs her bag off the passenger seat and as she's getting out of the Jeep, a cold wind picks up, making her shiver and hurry over to Luke. “Why are you standing out here? It's freezing.”

The way Luke kisses her is all the answer she needs. It's as if he's been monitoring himself all this time, not allowed to express himself freely, but outside of Stars Hollow, they don't have to worry about the eyes of the town on them, they don't have to worry about Rory or Jess. It's just them.

Unlike their first date, there is no admiring the scenery or making small talk. They check in, exchanging antsy glances at each other as the person manning the front desk takes their time with the whole process, and by the time they're climbing the stairs to their room, Luke can't keep his hands off of her. Lorelai scarcely has a chance to put her bag down before the two of them are embracing and Luke kicks the door closed behind them. She wants to say something about how she's happy this worked out, but then her gaze meets Luke's and everything falls away.

Afterwards, Lorelai runs her hand through Luke's hair and feels the familiar tightness in her chest. “Luke?”

“Yeah?”

“I think...I'm-” He opens his eyes and runs his hand along her shoulder. “I'm falling for you.” She lets it out all in one breath, glad to be free of the burden of her feelings.

He looks at her as if he's unsure of what he just heard. “I'm not sure you can say that right after we christened the room.” She didn't expect him to make a joke and she smacks his arm.

“Luke!”

He draws up beside her. “I'm falling for you too,” he murmurs before he kisses her. He nestles up against her again and she continues running her hand through his hair. “What are we going to do about it?”

“We could christen the room again.” She suggests slyly.

“I'm not objecting.”

*

She is still surprised this is Luke's choice, that he willingly elected to book a room, get all dressed up, go dancing, and mingle with strangers. Well, mostly willingly. Luke sighs in frustration as he tries for the third time to get his tie right. “Why do we even celebrate the new year anyway? Two months into it, everyone is already disappointed with themselves again. We could avoid the hype and hoopla all together.”

“So you're saying you're going to be tired of me in a couple months?” Lorelai teases.

“What? No, never.” He turns to her with a note of exhaustion in his voice. “Can you help me with this stupid thing?” She puts her earrings on the dresser and turns to help Luke. “You look amazing,” he says in her ear as she's reaching up to untangle his tie. In a nod to _When Harry Met Sally_ , she picked a simple black dress with off the shoulder sleeves.

“Thank you. You look pretty amazing yourself.” She fingers his tie. “This is nice, but you don't need to wear it. The collared shirt, no tie look is very in right now.”

“You think I can pull it off?” Luke frowns but glances at himself in the mirror.

“Absolutely.” Her eyes dart up to meet his and she smiles. Luke puts his hand on her waist and guides her in for a kiss.

*

Up until this weekend, he's pretty certain he's been hallucinating all of this, but there she is, solid in front of him, her eyes alight, her smile like it's made just for him. Saying all the things he's been wanting to hear for years and somehow all of it is better than his hallucinations.

He's been searching for a time to tell her. He thought this would be it. Getting away with her for a night, he hoped it would make this—them—feel real instead of sneaking around like teenagers. But even when Lorelai lets her guard down the tiniest bit, he finds himself unable to say what he really wants to say. Instead, he resorts to her mode of self-defense by making a joke.

Maybe there is no perfect time to tell her he's been falling for her since she walked into his diner eight years ago. Maybe it's something that goes best unsaid. Words have never been his strong suit anyway.

 


	5. I Solemnly Swear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly, the apartment door opens and Luke jumps, breaking the kiss. Lorelai takes a moment to find her bearings after that hell of a kiss and looks up, expecting to see Jess standing there, smirking at them like a smartass.

“So, last weekend when Sookie and I went to that seminar?”

“I recall.” He nods.

“Right. We ran into this friend of hers, Joe, and his business partner, Alex. They're opening a coffee shop. Anyway, I guess Alex got my number from Sookie and he called and asked me out.” She's talking quickly even for her, because she doesn't see any outcome other than Luke being disappointed.

“Oh.” Luke frowns. _And there it is_ , she thinks. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Well, he kind of put me on the spot-”

Luke exhales so loudly she stops talking. “You didn't.”

“I was afraid if I said no, Sookie would ask me about it-” she says tentatively.

“You could have said no and told Sookie you weren't interested!” Luke replies angrily. “Where's the harm in that?”

“I'm _not_ interested,” she emphasizes. “I'll go have coffee with the guy. It's not a big deal.”

“It may not be a big deal to you, but it is to me.” Luke's tone is more measured now, but it sets Lorelai on edge.

“What? Why? I told you I wasn't interested.”

“We've been dating for almost three months. Is that a fact that you're aware of?” he asks gruffly. “I thought hiding this was temporary until we knew whether it was going to work. It's working for me, so I don't understand what the issue is.”

“It _is_. It is working.”

“Then why didn't you tell Sookie instead of agreeing to go out with some guy you don't even like?” The color drains from Luke's face as he answers his own question. “Oh. You do like him. That would explain why you're not taking any of this seriously. God, I'm such an idiot to think you wanted any of this, that you wanted _me_.” He raises his voice into a high, girly tone, imitating what she assumes is supposed to be her. “Oh, Luke, I'll sleep with him for awhile but it's not serious. He's the just for now guy!”

She is gutted that Luke thinks of her that way. “That's not what this is.”

“Then tell me what it is, Lorelai. Please enlighten me.”

“It's not—I didn't want—we...” Every explanation she thinks of sounds awful.

“That's what I thought,” Luke practically spits out, turning on his heel. “Get back to me if you ever decide to take this seriously.”

“Luke, wait-” He slams the door so hard, the whole house shakes. She sinks down onto the couch, unable to control the tears. Better to fall apart now than when Rory is home to ask a lot of questions.

They had fought before. _Go to hell. Right back at ya_. But this is different. It cuts deeper. She has spent the past three months getting to know Luke on a different level, an intimate level, and as he was ranting about her decision, she stood there, realizing they could never go back to being friends. It isn't just new Luke walking out on her, but old Luke, friend Luke, saying goodbye too.

Being with Luke has made her see their friendship differently. There has always been an attraction, a connection with him, but she had put those thoughts and feelings on a very, very high shelf and sealed them off a long time ago because she knew proceeding down that path would lead to devastating damage and emotional carnage due to the category five tornado that was Lorelai.

And she was right.

*

She's not sure if the worst thing about fighting with Luke is having to hide her crappy mood from Rory or that she has to go to Luke's and act like everything is normal.

On Monday, she goes with Rory, figuring she should get on with the awfulness. Luke barely looks at her while he's taking their order and then he has Jess bring out their food. On Tuesday, she drops by for Danish day but Luke isn't downstairs. She asks Jess if he's around. “No, he said he had a bunch of errands to run.” Wednesday and Thursday she convinces Rory to have pizza and Al's for dinner. Friday is dinner at the grandparents. After escaping Hartford, Lorelai drops Rory off at the diner because she has plans with Jess. As her daughter enters the diner and Luke looks up, she can see an actual smile pulling at his face as he says something to Rory. Rory pauses at the counter and when she walks away, Lorelai can see something wrapped in a napkin in her hand. She sits there for another minute, simply watching Luke and wondering if they were both crazy for thinking they could make this work.

She pulls the Jeep away from the diner and heads towards home. But she knows what she has to do.

When it gets near closing time, Lorelai walks over to the diner. Luke's already flipped the sign to closed, but she knows the door will be unlocked. She walks inside, the bells jingling over her head. As Luke comes out of the back, he's mid-sentence, “We're closed.” When he sees her, his mouth falls into a firm, straight line.

“Can we talk?” 

“I don't think I can stop you.” He reaches for a mug and pours her a cup of coffee. 

She likes to think coffee gives her strength, as well as the ability to talk as fast as she does. She wonders about starting a coffee religion. Lorelai takes a deep breath and plunges into the unknown. “Look, I know you're still mad and it's totally justified.” She looks up at him over her cup. “I should have never said yes to a date without telling you first. I cancelled, by the way.”

He glances up at that. “No, I shouldn't have said anything,” he sighs. “It's clear this wasn't anything serious and I got ahead of myself.”  _This_ . Meaning them.  _Meaning us_ , Lorelai thinks.

“Luke, no, you're wrong about that. It _is_ something.” 

He looks at her with that intense gaze she recognizes but quickly changes the subject. “Do you want pie?”

“No, I want to go upstairs and continue talking about this. I mean, if you want.” 

“Sure,” he shrugs nonchalantly. “Give me a few minutes.” Lorelai recognizes what he's doing because she's done it countless times before. He is trying to be unemotional so he won't get hurt again. She watches him lock up and turn out the lights, gesturing for her to go up the stairs ahead of him. Lorelai tries the apartment door but it's locked. 

“Since when did you start locking your door?” He reaches around her to unlock the door and Lorelai notices the most normal, everyday Luke thing, how his sleeves are pushed up to his elbow and suddenly she has to remind herself how to breathe. How can he have nice forearms?

“Since Rory and Jess started dating. That way they can't slip in the back without me knowing they're upstairs. Jess has to come down to get the key.”

“He doesn't have his own copy?” 

“Not to the apartment, no.” 

Lorelai raises her eyebrows at Luke's parenting tactics. “Harsh, but I approve.”

As they move into the apartment, Lorelai falls quiet, unsure what to say. She knows she has to be the one to apologize, but Luke is acting so casual she's suddenly not sure he wants this at all. Luke takes a seat on the couch but she remains standing and starts to pace back and forth. “You said...before, you said you've wanted this for a long time. How long?”

It's not what she was planning to say and by the look on his face, the question catches him off guard. He glances down at his hands in his lap. “I...don't know exactly. A long time.”

She thinks back, remembering the confused mix of emotions she felt when Rachel showed up and wonders if she's unknowingly put him through the same thing.  _For years?_ she wonders. No wonder he was upset about keeping their relationship hidden. “I'm sorry, Luke. I never meant to make you think you were a temporary thing. Truthfully...” she trails off, feeling a momentary panic at giving herself away like this, but if Luke could do it, she could. “It's been a long time since I felt this way about anyone and it scared me a little. Still does.”

“Really?” He raises his eyebrows.

“Really,” she manages a smile even though she's still overwhelmed with nerves. 

“I'm scared too, you know.” Luke slides off the couch and stands, walking slowly towards her. 

“You are?” Lorelai asks, surprised. 

“Yeah. Scared I'm going to lose you, both romantically and as a friend.” 

She lets out a relieved exhale. “So am I.”

“I missed you.” He says in that deep vibrato of his. 

“And I missed you.” He's inches from her now and he steps forward, kissing her fiercely. One arm slides around her shoulders, his other across her lower back, pulling her close. Lorelai's hands are caught between them but she manages to move one arm out of the grip Luke has her in (she's not complaining) to wrap around his neck. Suddenly, the apartment door opens and Luke jumps, breaking the kiss. Lorelai takes a moment to find her bearings after that hell of a kiss and looks up, expecting to see Jess standing there, smirking at them like a smartass. 

Instead, it's Rory, her hand still on the doorknob, her mouth open. “Sorry,” she takes a step backwards, bumping into the doorframe. “I was looking for Jess.” She makes her way out of the apartment and they can hear her footsteps on the stairs.  _Shit, shit, shit_ , Lorelai thinks. 

“I'm sorry,” Luke apologizes. “Go.” 

“Don't be sorry.” She squeezes his hand before she follows Rory out. Outside the diner, Lorelai sees Rory jogging towards the woods behind the high school. “Hey,” she calls, but Rory doesn't slow down and Lorelai has to jog to keep up. Once she reaches the woods, Rory stops by a tree for a second and Lorelai catches up with her. They're both breathing hard and for a moment, neither can speak. “Rory-” Lorelai tries but has to stop to suck in another breath. Okay, maybe the exercising thing should be something she pays more attention to. 

“Don't, Mom.” Rory wraps her coat tighter around her and walks deeper into the woods, towards the pond. “I can't believe you didn't tell me.” 

“We were in a fight.” Lorelai offers lamely. “There wasn't anything to tell.” 

“That didn't look like a fight to me.” Rory bites back. “How long have you been, god, I don't even know what to call it. Dating, sleeping with Luke?” 

“It's not like that,” Lorelai says, her voice strained. This is the second time in less than a week that people whom she would put her life on the line for have accused her of not being able to handle a relationship. Rory doesn't think Lorelai's thing with Luke is serious and Luke himself had concerns. 

She continues to follow Rory. “How long has it been?” Her daughter snaps.

Lorelai stops and Rory looks back at her, waiting. “Three months.” She admits, bracing for the backlash. Rory stares in shock.

“Three months!?” Rory shakes her head and Lorelai sees tears spring up in her daughter's eyes, but she turns on her heel, continuing their march through town. “I thought we were different. I thought we told each other things.”

“Well, I thought so too. Except you've barely told me anything about Jess.” Lorelai knows that is exactly the wrong thing to bring up right now, but it's too late. She's done it. 

Rory's bright blue eyes cut through the dark. “You've never liked Jess, so don't pretend you want to hear about him now.”

“Rory, I know you've been lying about spending time with Jess. I'm over at Lane's? I'm not an idiot.” 

“And you lied to me about Luke!” That's fair, but not at all Lorelai's point. 

“Except I'm the mother and you're the daughter and I get to worry about whether my daughter is having sex.” They've finally reached their own yard, so at least the whole town isn't getting to hear them argue.

“I'm not sleeping with Jess!” Rory hisses as she digs into her coat pockets for the front door key. “God, I thought you knew me better than that.” Rory starts to go into her room. 

Lorelai can't think of anything else to say, so she says the easiest parent line in the book. “You do not walk away from me right now!”

“Then maybe tell me next time when you decide to sleep with our main food supply.” Rory retorts before slamming her door. Rory has never challenged her like this. She isn't sure if her daughter is really bothered about Luke or more upset by her accusations about Jess. 

Since Lorelai always needs to have the last word, she yells, “That was uncalled for!” She hopes Rory will be more willing to talk the next day.

But when Rory returns home from school the next afternoon, she barely says two words to Lorelai and barricades herself in her room, just in case Lorelai was wondering if she was still mad. Around seven, her stomach is gurgling so loudly it sounds like she's about to re-enact a scene from  _Alien_ . She knocks gently on Rory's door. “Hey, I'm going to Luke's. If you want to meet me there, you can, or there's money for pizza.” There's no response, so Lorelai grabs her coat and heads out by herself. 

“Hey, how's the great freeze out of 2003 going?” Luke asks when she arrives. 

“Bruce Springsteen is planning to write a song about it.” Luke chuckles. “It's bad. She said things she shouldn't have, but it was mostly me opening my big mouth and saying I didn't approve of Jess. And now I'm saying them to you, so I must be really stupid.” 

“It's okay. I get it. But hey, Rory's going to college soon, so this won't be a long-lived thing.” Lorelai hopes that's true but decides to keep her mouth shut for once. 

“Anyway. Tell me about your day.” Luke looks slightly surprised. “We're doing this now, right?” 

“We are,” he agrees. 

“I like hearing your voice, so tell me about your day.” She smiles at him and his cheeks redden slightly at her compliment before launching into a story about Kirk's new morning routine. 

 


	6. Lorelai Out Of Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she's about to open the door, she spots Luke at the counter, laughing with a redhead. Lorelai's heart jumps into her throat, but she's calm enough to reason with herself. She knows it's not Rachel, unless Rachel has decided to dye her hair and really embrace the Meg Ryan pixie cut.

A week later and Rory is still barely speaking to her. By the time she gets up in the mornings, Rory is usually already gone. She assumes her daughter has been going to school early, but one morning, Luke mentions something about seeing her. "Wait, Rory was here?" Lorelai is in mid-bite, so it sounds more like gibberish. Luke gives her a  _why am I falling in love with such a slob_ look, so Lorelai swallows her food and takes a sip of coffee before trying again. "Rory was here?" 

"Yeah, she's been coming in super early this week." Understanding that he's told Lorelai something she didn't know, he elaborates a little. "Just for a few minutes. Usually gets coffee and a muffin to go before catching the bus. Does she have a school project due or something?"

Lorelai shrugs, realizing she doesn't know. Rory could have a school project. It sounds like something she would do, get up early to put in extra time for schoolwork, but she suspects it's not that simple. "More likely she's just avoiding me," she sighs.

"I'm sorry it happened this way." Luke has apologized a million times for her daughter shutting her out. Lorelai can't seem to make him understand it was her own stupidity in not telling Rory earlier that is the cause for the rift.

"You know it has nothing to do with you," she reminds him. "If Rory was mad at you, she wouldn't come in here. She's mad at me for keeping things from her." She shrugs. "The thing is, I can't blame her. If it was reversed, if Rory secretly got back together with Dean or started dating someone new and didn't tell me for months? I'd be heartbroken."

They're still keeping a low profile, but Luke glances around the diner to see if anyone is watching before giving her hand a quick, reassuring squeeze. "Do you want me to try and talk to her?"

Lorelai hadn't considered this tactic, but it might be the best shot they have. Rory adores Luke and clearly, even after finding out about her mom and Luke, she hasn't held it against him. If she's not going to listen to Lorelai, maybe she would listen to Luke. "Actually, I think that would be a great idea." Luke looks surprised but pleased that Lorelai agrees so readily. "If you could feel her out, see what she thinks about..." she trails off, leaning forward and whispering, "Us. That would be ideal."

"I think I can handle that," he tells her with a wink. He also has ideas about pushing Rory towards mending things with her mom, but he's keeping that to himself.

"I'll call you from the inn?" They have a date night on the horizon. Even though Rory has been spending a lot of time out of the house, she feels awkward about seeing Luke while Rory is upset, but it's been nearly two weeks without a peace accord in sight, and Lorelai is severely missing him.

He gives her a subtle nod. "Talk to you later."

"Bye," she smiles coyly.

"Bye." It takes everything he has not to laugh at her not so subtle flirting.

After what feels like the longest day at the inn, which is hosting a gathering of the Northeastern branch of wine sommeliers, Lorelai wants to grab two or three bottles of the sommeliers' wine and run to the diner at full speed. Instead, she drives over, amazed to see construction going on next door to the diner and anxious to know how quickly Luke's head exploded when he found out what Taylor's plans were. When she's about to open the door, she spots Luke at the counter, laughing with a redhead. Lorelai's heart jumps into her throat, but she's calm enough to reason with herself. She knows it's not Rachel, unless Rachel has decided to dye her hair and really embrace the Meg Ryan pixie cut. It could be Luke's sister, but she never pictured Luke's sister as a redhead. Only one way to find out.

She opens the door, the bells jingling overhead to announce her presence. She waits in the doorway, seeing how long it takes Luke to notice her, as he continues to joke around with this woman. Finally, his gaze lands on her and he straightens up, the smile quickly erased. The woman turns around to see what's going on and her eyes flick subtly up and down Lorelai. Lorelai hasn't forgotten this move from high school. This woman is assessing her, sizing up her competition. Luke may not realize it, because he's been pretty oblivious to her flirting over the years, but this woman has him on her radar.

"I saw the construction next door and I couldn't believe it! Where's Taylor? You got him stashed in the back there somewhere after strangling him?"

Luke clears his throat. "Lorelai, this is Nicole Leahy, Taylor's lawyer."

Lorelai's eyes go wide and she freezes up for a moment. "Oh, hi," she finally manages. "Nice to meet you. I was just kidding about the Taylor thing."

"It's fine. I know Taylor is very particular about things. Not always easy for everyone."

"It's a little early for dinner," Luke says as he pours Lorelai a cup of coffee.

"True." Lorelai notices the time. Her day felt so long, she didn't realize it wasn't even six. "Had a long day. And you know what the solution for a long day is?"

"I'm going to guess large quantities of something I don't approve of." Luke looks annoyed. Lorelai likes when they get to play their old games.

"I was thinking a donut, so you're close."

"Take your pick." He slides her a plate and throws her a wink. She lifts the cover off and uses the tongs to pluck a chocolate glazed out of the pile.

"Thanks." she smiles at him. Her eyes slide over to Nicole, who is pretending not to pay attention, but really is watching this whole exchange as she sips her coffee. Luke looks like he's about to say something to Nicole, so Lorelai speaks up. "Have you seen Rory?"

"Ah, yeah, she was here for a couple hours with Lane after school. Left about an hour ago, maybe?"

"Okay, thanks."

"Jess is at his other job, so she's not with him."

"Got it. Thank you for keeping an eye out."

"You know I always do."

"I know." A warmth floods her stomach. She wants to reach over the counter and pull him in for a kiss right there, her hands still sticky from the donut. Only a quarter of that feeling might have something to do with this other woman flirting with her boyfriend? Man friend? Both terms sounded strange in describing what Luke is to her.

This time when Luke's attention turns back to Nicole, she says she has to go, but she'll send over the papers the next day for him to sign. Luke thanks her and when she pays for the coffee, he lets her. Lorelai knows Luke has never let a first time customer pay for coffee ever, so he must have realized how things looked when Lorelai walked in the diner. He doesn't want to take a chance on Lorelai getting upset about this woman. She doesn't like to think of herself as catty, but she has to smile to herself just a little as she watches Nicole leave.

Luke shoots her a look as the door closes behind Nicole. "What?"

"You know what."

"Luke, come on. You're not an innocent bystander here." She knows he hates being needled, which is exactly why she's doing it, to get a rise out of him.

"What are you talking about?" He protests. She's glad the diner is empty.

"There was some flirting going on there. I'm not blind, mister."

"Have you ever heard of good service? That's all I was doing."

"Bullshit." Lorelai says with a satisfactory smile. She loves this. "You were never that nice to me when I first started coming here."

"That's because it was clear from early on that you were crazy."

She lets out a gasp, balls up her napkin in her hand, and throws it at him. He ducks. "Rude!" she cries.

"Are you going to order anything besides that donut?" He sidles over to her, passing her a fresh napkin.

"Nope." She presses up on the stool and kisses him right there in the middle of the diner. His hands grip the back of her arms, keeping her steady. Now she's really, really glad no one else is there, although she knows the blinds are open and it's getting dark outside, so it would be very easy for someone to walk by and see them kissing, but for the moment, she honestly doesn't care.

Luke makes sure she's perched back on her stool before taking a long, ragged breath. "That was unfair," he breathes. "And dangerous." His eyes focus past her, on the town square.

"I know," she agrees. "Blame it on my shitty day."

"I wasn't flirting with her, Lorelai."

"I know." Her fingers splay across his wrist. "That's not even what I'm talking about anyway."

"I'm sorry. Your pick on Friday?" Since Rory still isn't speaking to her, Lorelai decided to beg out of Friday night dinner and instead spend it with the one person who actually likes being around her.

Lorelai goes home to find Rory already locked in her room, but half a pizza in the fridge. It's something.

The situation at the diner with Nicole and Luke is still on her mind. She knows it's not anything, but it's the first time where she felt jealous. She hasn't felt jealous since Chris told her about Sherry and even then she knew Chris didn't belong to her in any sort of way. Luke doesn't belong to her either, but there's the possibility of belonging. She doesn't mean belonging like owned, but being together, feeling balanced and full when you're with this other person. She and Luke are each complete on their own, but more complete together.

In another sense, it should be alarming to feel so strongly about Luke. A few months ago, they had yelled at each other in the middle of the town square and she had been frustrated and mad and terrified for Rory and now she can scarcely imagine how she would feel if she fought with Luke like that again.

Lorelai looks up in surprise when Rory's door opens and her daughter shuffles out of her room, her nose stuck in a book as usual. "Hi," Lorelai breathes, grateful her mouth isn't full of pizza. Rory looks up, her eyes going wide, which she tries to cover in the next moment, but it's too late. Her mouth turns into the perpetual straight line it is in these days and she lowers her eyes to avoid her mother's gaze.

"I didn't know you were home."

"Just got here. Thanks for the pizza."

Rory nods and grabs a soda from the fridge. "Well, I'm gonna..." she gestures to her room with her book and Lorelai nods, not wanting to let her go but knowing she has to.

"Okay. Do good studying."

Rory stops in the doorway to her room and turns back around to face her mom. "You're still seeing him, aren't you? Luke?"

The question takes Lorelai off guard. She manages to choke out an answer. "Um, yeah. I am."

"And, um, things are good?" Rory leans up against the doorframe, her words tumbling out, but her gaze falling to the floor.

"Yeah," Lorelai says again. "They are." She doesn't want to overly praise things, because she doesn't really know why Rory is asking, but in her head she thinks things are really good. Things are really, really good with Luke.

"Good. That's good." Rory nods before stepping back into her room. To Lorelai's surprise, she doesn't shut the door behind her. Lorelai lets her be. Rory knows where to find her if she wants to talk.

As she's getting ready for bed, she wonders over Rory's about face. Maybe Luke already talked to her. He didn't mention it earlier in the diner, but Nicole was there. Maybe he wasn't sure how it had gone, so he didn't want to say anything in case it backfired. She thinks about calling him to ask, but it's late and she knows he goes to bed early, plus she never knows what Jess' schedule is and she thinks about how it would look if Jess answers the phone and she's calling so late.

*

Rory comes into the diner the next morning at her usual early time. "Got a school project or something you're working on?" Luke tries to strike up a conversation.

"Oh, no," she frowns. "Not really. Why?"

"You've been going to school earlier than usual, haven't you?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"You got some time this morning? I can make you blueberry pancakes instead of a muffin." This gets a smile out of her.

"That would be great. Thanks, Luke." She pulls a book out of her backpack and reads while he's in the kitchen making the pancakes. He's glad for the distraction because he doesn't know how to bring things up with her. When he brings out the pancakes, he stands there awkwardly while Rory eats, but he's glad the diner is quiet.

"So," Rory looks up. "I know you found out about me and your mom and I just wondered, I mean, I don't want to do this if it's going to make you upset."

Rory looks surprised and a piece of pancake falls off her fork and splashes in the syrup. She picks up a napkin and wipes her mouth, taking a sip of coffee before saying anything. "The dating thing doesn't make me upset. In fact, if it makes you both happy, then I'm happy for you."

"Oh." He wasn't expecting that and rocks back on his heels before shoving his hands in his back pockets. "Thanks."

"I'm mostly upset at my mom for not telling me about it."

"Yeah, I know. But you shouldn't hold it against her. I think she wanted to make sure things were going to work between us before she told you."

Rory twists the fork between her fingers, her face thoughtful. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense."

"She didn't want you to find out the way you did. I know that much. And I'm sorry about that."

"It's not your fault. But thanks for saying that." He can tell the gears are turning in Rory's brain and he doesn't know if anything he said will stick, but he tried. "And thanks for the pancakes." She sets her knife and fork carefully on the plate. "But I should get to school."

"Okay." He nods. "Have a good day."

"You too, Luke. See you later." She gives him a smile before she slips her bag over shoulder and heads out the door.

 


	7. The Big One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it's been five months since I updated this, I've decided to post the last couple chapters so at least it's semi-finished. I wanted to write more of this, but I think you'll be happy with how it ends.

_The Big One_

As they climb back into the Jeep after dinner, Rory checks the clock. “It's still early, so I might go catch a movie with Jess. If you don't mind dropping me off at the diner.”

“Was planning on going there myself,” Lorelai admits. 

“Oh, right.” Rory grins. “How's that going?”

“Good.” She wants to add another word, but she's not sure what to choose. 

“That's it? Good?” Her daughter prompts. 

How much she likes Luke still makes Lorelai nervous. “I'm being cautious, I guess. Things have been going really well and I'm just afraid they might suddenly not being going well. Probably because of me, so.”

“Oh, Mom. If it helps, I do not think this is a Max situation.” Rory gasps. “Oh god, are you going to tell him about running into Max?”

“Yeah.” Lorelai had already thought about that. “I have to.” But it didn't mean she was looking forward to it. She had already seen how Luke reacted when another guy asked her out. She's afraid of how he's going to react when she tells him she ran into her ex-fiance. 

_So, not to be blunt, but is that over?_ Max had accused her of having a thing with Luke once. At the time, Lorelai had balked and been hurt by the accusation, but now... Maybe he was right. Maybe, like everyone had been insisting for years, there had been something between the two of them. Between her and Luke. She still doesn't understand how she was blind to it for so long. 

The diner is nearly empty when she and Rory step inside. Rory says hi to Luke, but skirts around the counter to head upstairs, while Lorelai takes a seat on one of the stools. “How are you feeling?” He asks. When Lorelai had stopped by the diner for lunch, Luke had forced her to eat a bowl of soup along with her burger.

“Are you going to make me eat a salad? Because I already had one at my parents.” She teases. “I feel better but it might just be the drugs.” Off his look, she expands her answer. “I stopped at a pharmacy in Hartford. Actually...” she continues, remembering Max. It's probably better to get it over with and maybe Luke won't yell if there are other people around, she reasons. But her first attempt is interrupted by Rory and Jess on their way out. “Call if you're going to be late,” she tells Rory. “Be safe, have fun.” Luke echoes these same sentiments to Jess, even though he's bound not to listen. 

Luke directs his attention back to her once they're gone. “What were you saying?”

“Oh, um, when I was at the pharmacy, I actually ran into, um, do you remember Max?” 

Luke's eyes widen and he looks startled for a second before settling into looking annoyed. “Pretty clearly, yeah. Doesn't he still teach at Chilton?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Rory said something about him being on loan to Stanford.” She doesn't mention that Max also filled her in on this fact. “It wasn't a big deal, but I wanted to let you know.” 

Luke's face softens. “I'm not the one you should be worrying about. How are you feeling? You were going to marry the guy. It has to be weird to bump into him randomly.”

Lorelai is so grateful for Luke's thoughtfulness that she wants to get up, go around the counter, and give him a hug. She glances at the people at the table by the window, wishing they would hurry up and leave. “I'm fine, actually. Yeah, it was a little weird, but he didn't seem mad or anything. It was all very civil.”

“Good. That's good.” Luke starts to go through his closing routine, even though he still has customers. 

When he passes by Lorelai again, she speaks up. “I don't regret my decision, you know.” Luke looks confused. “Not marrying him. I wouldn't have been happy.”  _We wouldn't have this_ .

He leans forward over the counter. “I always felt guilty about this, but when it happened, when you called things off, I was happy.” It's a big thing for him to admit and for her to take in.

She looks at him, her blue eyes focusing on his, and asks, “Can you please throw those people out so I can take you upstairs?” She's never seen him move faster.

_*_

Lorelai has barely seen Luke over the past week, but when Rory gets the three envelopes--Harvard, Yale, Princeton--Lorelai knows neither of them will be sleeping much that night. “Kiddo, I'm going to run over to the diner for some all-night list-making sustenance.”

Rory, who is sitting cross-legged on her bed, the contents from the envelopes forming an arch around her, looks up. “Haha.”

“I saw you shove that notepad under your pillow,” Lorelai teases as she grabs her purse and jacket and heads out the front door. From across the town square, she can see the glow of the diner's windows. As she draws closer, she stops to watch the movement of the customers inside. She doesn't see Luke at first, but then he emerges from the back and her heart swells. Over the past few months, whenever she visits the diner, she likes to watch how his face, his body, his whole physicality changes when he sees her. She wonders if the shift was always there and she simply hadn't seen it. 

“Hey,” he greets her. “I didn't expect to see you tonight. How was Rory's speech?”

“Oh, it was good. I mean, I've been to a lot of those Chilton events by now and even though they are dull, dull, dull, Rory is always a bright light.” 

“I bet,” he nods, sliding a cup of coffee across to her. She wants so badly to tell him about Rory's college acceptance letters, but knows Rory will want to tell him herself and instead mentions they need some late night sustenance. “Coming right up.” He grins at her. 

Running into Max has made her think. She remembers where she was nearly a year ago, wrapped up in the spell of Christopher again, only to have the rug pulled out from under her. She had wanted him because she always held close the desire to be a family. And Max, she had said yes in part because she was 33, she felt like she should be married. The reality was Max wasn't a good fit for her or a good partner, although she now knows he would be for someone else. Neither of them made her feel equal, neither of them balanced her in the way she never even knew she needed. Luke did. He had given her all those things before they were even together.

When her food is ready, she doesn't want to leave right away. "You know," she says to Luke. "Tonight, when Rory was giving her speech, it hit me. She's not going to be here next year."

"I know." He nods, lending a sympathetic ear as always, but giving her the emotional space she needs to process.

"I think I've forgotten how to be alone. I haven't been alone in seventeen years. That's what motherhood is, not being alone. I don't know if I can do this."

"You can," he assures her. "I've seen you doubt yourself before, but guess what? You always do what you say you can't do. You didn't think you could manage the inn at first, remember? And you've been doing it now, for what, five years? And quite successfully, by the way."

"Thanks." She flushes at his compliment, touched he remembers about the inn. She had been nervous when Mia passed the reins over to her, but a few months with Mia as her coach and she felt confident in the role, as if she had already been doing it for years.

When Rory started kindergarten, Lorelai promised herself that once her daughter got through school, she would give herself the option of leaving Stars Hollow, knowing there might be more lucrative opportunities for her elsewhere. But she hadn't thought about the promise for years. She was happy here and she couldn't imagine uprooting herself from this community. They had become her family. Now, in addition, she had this amazing man standing in front of her and she honestly had no idea what she had done to deserve him. "I'm glad you'll be here. Next year. At least, I hope I've got-"

"You do," Luke interrupts, sure and steady as always. She thinks about that night, back in August, when she had crept into the diner as Mimi, when she had cried to him about Christopher, when he assured her in the same way he was doing now. He was there. He was always there. For her, and for Rory, and she couldn't be more grateful to him.

 


	8. A Tale of Poes and Fire

_A Tale of Poes and Fire_

She had been running on adrenaline for over 12 hours and even though there was nothing she wanted more to sleep in her own bed, at least she knew there was another place she could go. "Luuuuuke." She howled while throwing rocks at his window.

"Lorelai? What the hell..."

"The Hadelstats showed up. I have no place to go."

"Hang on," he tells her. "I'll be right down."

_I love you_ , she wants to say. Thank you is what comes out of her mouth instead. When Luke opens the door to the diner and Lorelai steps inside, her pillow in hand, Luke pulls her a long hug. "I'm so sorry," he murmurs in her ear. "Things were so frantic today and I didn't get to tell you that."

"I know. They were. And thank you." She leans into him as he leads her towards the stairs. "Bonus sleep over, though."

He chuckles. "And on a school night."

Lorelai isn't really aware of what time it is anymore but she knows it's late. "Oh gosh, Luke, were you asleep?"

"In bed, but I wasn't asleep."

She watches how his eyes don't really meet hers and she knows he's lying. "You were asleep. I'm so sorry. I know you get up early and I didn't even think..."

"It's okay," he cuts in. "If I'm going to get woken up by something, my girlfriend is the best reason I can think of." They're both tired and the word hangs in the air for a long moment. Lorelai pauses on the landing.

"Did you just call me your girlfriend?" Luke shakes his head emphatically. "You liar, you did!" She nudges him in the ribs. "I can't believe you won't admit you called me your girlfriend!"

"Well, can you blame me? You're only going to tease me about it mercilessly."

"Just a little teasing," she promises as he holds open the apartment door for her. Inside, she turns into him and snakes an arm around his neck. "Besides, I thought it was sweet."

"You did?"

"Mmmhmm," she murmurs, leaning in to kiss him. She stays there, safe in his arms and slumps against him. "God, I'm tired."

"Let's get you into bed then." Luke grimaces, waiting for her to say it.

Her brain is a dead weight. She's starting to feel a little punch drunk, so it takes her a good thirty seconds before she realizes what he's referring to. "Oh," she replies. "Dirty!"

"There you go."

Lorelai's grateful she's already wearing her pajamas, although she realizes she forgot her toothbrush at home. "Luke, do you have a-" Before she's even finished the sentence, he's reaching under the sink to pull out a new toothbrush, still in it's package. She wants to question him about why he keeps an extra unopened toothbrush around, but she's too tired. As she's brushing, Lorelai hears the door shut and looks up to see Jess studying them with a bemused look on his face.

"What?" Luke asks.

"This is quite the picture of domesticity." Jess remarks in that self-satisfied way of his and Lorelai rolls her eyes. "Considering the small space that we're sharing, I hope you're quiet in bed." It takes Lorelai a minute to realize Jess is directing the comment at her. It's hard for her to focus on anything at the moment, her head is swimming, but Luke is standing up and saying something about how Jess can't speak to Lorelai that way. In fact, he shouldn't be speaking to any adult that way.

Lorelai finishes brushing her teeth and rinses her mouth out before leaning against the bathroom door frame and speaking in a calm, flat tone. "I am, in fact,  _not_ quiet in bed." She quirks an eyebrow in Jess's direction and his look of disgust is worth it.

"Gross," he remarks, before shouldering his backpack and turning on his heel.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Luke demands.

"What do you care? I'll sleep in the gazebo."

"It's cold out, Jess. You can't just-" The door slams behind him. "Okay," Luke says to himself. He looks up at Lorelai. "I can't believe you said that."

"Well," she shrugs. "It's true, isn't it?"

"The look on his face." Luke chuckles. He pulls her down onto his lap.

She presses her hands against her eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I'm tired and I don't know what got into me."

"No," he shakes his head. "It's okay. He never listens to me anyway." He can't stop chuckling and his soft laughter becomes louder as he thinks about the situation. It's catching and soon Lorelai is laughing too. After everything with the inn, she needs the release. They both finally stop because they can barely breathe. Luke's fingertips dance over her skin languidly and the heat from his body has her eyelids drooping. He places a soft kiss on her forehead. "Bed." He instructs, helping her up.

As tired as she's felt all evening, as soon as she lays down, she's wide awake. It's so rare that she gets to spend a whole night with Luke, she wants to savor it. She curls onto her side, facing him. He brushes his fingers through her hair, trying to soothe her to sleep, but after a few minutes, when her eyes don't flutter closed, he clears his throat. "Don't wait for me to fall asleep," she tells him. "I don't want to keep you awake."

"That's not what I was thinking about."

"Oh, okay. What were you thinking about then?"

He takes a breath. “Lorelai, I think we should move in together.”

His sentence catches her off guard and she laughs before she can stop herself. When she sees the look in his eye, she stops, chastened. “Are you serious?”

“I was until you started laughing.” The dryness in his tone tells her he’s joking and she’s glad he knows her well enough not to be hurt by her often inappropriate reactions to declarations of love. For years, her mother griped about her not being able to take anything seriously and Lorelai was starting to see how much she was right. 

“I’m sorry. It took me by surprise, that’s all. I’ve had a _weird_ 24 hours.” 

“I know. That’s why I brought it up. What happened at the inn, all I’ve thought about for the last 24 hours is you. I want to go to sleep with you at night and wake up with you in the morning. I want to be there.” 

His sincerity unlocks a feeling in her chest, one she hasn’t felt in a very long time. One perhaps she didn’t even truly feel with Max. “I want that, too,” she says before she even fully comprehends what she’s saying. But she does want that. More than anything. The first person she wants to turn to is Luke. She wants to hear his voice when something bad happens, she wants to tell him when something good happens. She wants him there.

“Really?” He asks and she nods. He presses a hand to the back of her head and her nose nuzzles into his neck as they lie together, holding each other. 

“But what about Rory?” 

“What about her?” 

“It’s always been just the two of us.”

“I know. And I have Jess to worry about now.” Off her worried look, he continues. “It’s okay. We don’t have to figure out everything right now. You need to get some sleep. I just...I wanted you to know.” 

“I’m glad I know.” 

“Good.”

“Night, Luke.” 

“Good night.”

Long after Luke starts to breathe heavily, Lorelai's mind keeps her awake. By the time she finally manages to fall asleep for a minute, she hears a heavy tread on the stairs and wakes with a start. Her heart pounding, she hears the door to the apartment opening, but then remembers: Jess. She wonders what kept Luke from actually building a wall to separate the bedrooms. Knowing him and his bachelor ways, it probably never occurred to him that he might actually occupy the space with someone other than his nephew. She does like the way Luke strategically placed the bookshelves so it erects a kind of wall around his bed. She thinks about the way Jess reacted to finding the two of them earlier and stifles a laugh into her pillow. She can hear him moving around but then she drifts off to sleep again.

Luke is surprised to find Lorelai lying awake the next morning. He rolls towards her, rubbing a hand on her shoulder. "Did you get any sleep at all?"

"Yeah, I did. It's weird. I didn't sleep that long but I woke up feeling fully rested. I guess I'm still running on adrenaline."

"Let me know how much caffeine you need and when."

She gives him a skeptical look. "You're joking, right?" Luke shakes his head. "This is the first time you've ever willing offered me caffeine."

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it." Lorelai watches as Luke gets out of bed and stretches. He's so cute in his little pajama bottoms. He notices her noticing him. "What are you smirking at?"

"You." Luke rolls his eyes but it doesn't stop Lorelai from smirking. She lets him have the shower first, which allows her to fall back into her new habit of obsessively rethinking the events of the past 48 hours. Seemingly overpowered by her surroundings, she gets distracted as she backtracks through the past day and instead, her mind wanders to Luke.

There's an ease with him. She finds herself comparing Luke to other guys she's dated, which she knows isn't fair, if nothing else because of the foundation of their friendship, but there's a simplicity, a shared language with him which she hasn't experienced with anyone else. It's like he only has to look at her to know how she's feeling. To her, he's a bit more enigmatic, but she knows when she's hitting a little too close to home with him, she can see it on his face. She thinks of the worst moments of the past few months and how Luke has navigated through them all without complaint and seemingly without fear.

Even last night, he somehow effortlessly proposed the two of them taking a big next step and she barely batted an eye. With anyone else, she would have barely slept, racked with anxiety and guilt, wondering how she could backtrack. With Luke, it felt like your favorite blanket. Like stepping into something familiar. Soft, comfortable. No rough edges. Why had she been working so hard at relationships all these years when it was this easy?

When he emerges from the bathroom, Luke doesn't quite look like himself. His hair is brushed back neatly and for the first time she sees how his hair works itself out of the neat brush of his comb and curls against the nape of his neck under his baseball cap.

"Did you mean it?"

Luke frowns, not following her for a second. "Oh, you mean...living together."

"Yes. That." This was Luke. She would be living with Luke.

"Of course I did."

"But you hate my house," Lorelai mumbles, leaning against him. He smells fresh from the shower and his flannel shirt is worn soft.

"What?" he lets out a laugh. "No, I don't. If I hate it, why would I spend so much time fixing it up?"

"So Rory and I won't injure ourselves by falling cabinetry or broken floorboards."

"That's part of it, yeah," he admits. "But I love your house."

"You do?"

"Yeah, it reminds me a lot of the one I grew up in, actually."

"Oh."

"If it feels too fast, we don't have to." He says, as if reading her mind. They haven't even been together six months. "This feels right to me, though. Us, I mean. I want you to know that."

Lorelai smiles. "It feels right to me, too." He pulls her into his arms, kissing her gently. She lets her head rest in the gentle slope of his shoulder. "Can I think about it?" she asks in a small voice. "Living together?"

"Of course. I didn't mean right now, but maybe...in the fall?" She appreciates the gentle way he says this. Normally her insides might seize with panic with such a suggestion, but he's not pushing her. "Think about it," he tells her.

"Thank you."

"Are you staying for breakfast?"

"I have to corral the guests but we'll be here in a little while."

"Okay. Hey, have I told you how proud I am? You've been so calm through all of this."

She doesn't mention how yesterday she felt on the verge of tears for hours. She lets out a long sigh. "Thanks. Getting through it is about the best I can manage."

"I'll see you in a bit." He nods at her.

"Bet your ass." Lorelai winks at him as she heads out the door, but she manages to just catch a hint of the blush on Luke's face.

 


	9. Happy Birthday, Baby

_Happy Birthday, Baby_

 

“Do you need anything from Luke? A new bookshelf?” Lorelai asks from Rory's doorway. Her daughter is perched on her bed doing homework and she looks up, a quizzical expression on her face. 

“What?”

“It's that time of year again. Luke's birthday gift to me.” 

“You mean his honey do list?” Rory's eyebrow quirks up at her mother. “I know Luke isn't the best gift giver, but I thought he might step up his game this year, considering...” She trails off, the implication obvious. Considering now they are dating. Lorelai's birthday is practically their six month anniversary. 

“It's what I wanted, hon.”

“And it doesn't feel...” The unasked question sits at the end of Rory's sentence. 

“Like I'm exploiting him? Nah, I'm just making up for that first year when I didn't milk it like I should have.” Lorelai replies seriously, but there's a twinkle in her eye to let her daughter know she's half joking.

“I could use another bookshelf,” Rory says tentatively. “But I guess I won't be around much longer to use it.” 

Lorelai crosses the room to take a seat on her daughter's bed. “Don't say that. You'll be around. Yale isn't that far away.”

“Are you sure you won't mind? I assume Luke will be around a lot more.” Lorelai tries to maintain a straight face. She hasn't told her Rory yet about the conversation she and Luke had about moving in together. 

“Are you kidding? You know you always have first dibs.” She squeezes her daughter's shoulder. “So, what's the verdict? Bookshelf?” 

“Yeah,” Rory agrees, smiling. “See if you can get him to paint some flowers on it to match the other one.” 

“You're definitely my daughter.” Lorelai laughs. 

*

Lorelai is surprised to hear Luke knock at the back door. “Is that you?” she calls before opening the door.

“It's me.” 

“Are you sure? Tell me something only Luke would know.” 

“Like what? Like why I'm dating a crazy woman who won't let me in her house?”

She flings open the door. “Aha, I knew it was you! Why didn't you come in the front door?”

“I wasn't sure where this fell on the Babette is a nosy neighbor scale. Besides, I left my tool box in your garage the last time I was over, so I swung by to grab it.”

“Mmhm.” Lorelai said, only half listening, as she had stopped to admire Rory's handiwork with the Mallomars. “Where's the French maid outfit?” 

“Under the flannel.” He gestures. “Where's the list?” 

“Right here.” She hands it to him and follows Luke as he takes a seat at the table and she assumes, choosing to graciously not comment on the Mallomars.

“Looks longer this year.” 

“It _is_ longer this year.” She smiles flirtatiously at him and he shuts his mouth. “Rory said something the other day about us spending more time together next year and I didn't know what to say.” 

He looks up at her confession, puts the list down, and reaches over to place a hand on her knee. “It was just an idea. We don't have to.”

“I know and I appreciate you being so patient with me, but I want to. I want to at least try.” She wrinkles up her nose. “Is that something we can do? Try?”

“Isn't that the point of moving in together? To see if you can stand each other 24 hours a day?”

“I always knew that deep down, you were a romantic,” she teases. 

He sighs “You know I didn't mean it that way. I want to be with you, maybe not 24 hours a day, because let's be honest, we would kill each other, but I want to be with you.” His fingers brush the back of her knee and she can feel her skin prickle with goosebumps.

“Yeah, me too. I mean, with you.” Worry clouds Lorelai's face. “I feel bad I didn't say anything to Rory.” 

“There's time for that.” He tries to assure her. 

“I know, but I made the mistake of not telling her about us before, so I need to do this. She can't find out accidentally again.” 

“No, she can't.” He agrees. The cooling off period between Lorelai and Rory had been the longest he had seen them not talk. 

“Hey, I wasn't kidding about that French maid outfit.” She winks, nudging his knee. 

“Do you want me to fix your house or do you want to have your way with me?” Luke tries to maintain a serious demeanor, but can't help but smirk. Lorelai lets out a laugh and tugs him out of his chair and towards the stairs. 

 


	10. Those Are Strings, Pinocchio

_Those Are Strings, Pinocchio_

“Luke, before we go, I have to tell you something.” 

“Tell me in the car. We can't be late to Rory's ceremony.” 

“No, I can't tell you in the car. I need to tell you on the ground, I mean, standing on land. I don't want you driving distracted.” 

His gaze focuses on her and his brow furrows. She can tell he's wondering if she's changed her mind about moving in together, so she gets straight to the point. “My parents are going to be there today.”

Luke chuckles, relieved. “Well yes, I figured as much. Is that all?”

“No, not exactly.” She twists her hands nervously at her waist. “I haven't exactly...told them about you. And me. About us.” 

“You haven't?” His brow furrows again. It would be endearing if she didn't know it was the first step in a Luke rant. “Why not?” 

“Because you know my relationship with my mother.”

“We've been dating since November.” His jaw clenches. 

“I know! And it's been amazing and I know I have no good excuse, but I think that's why I didn't tell them. Because it has been amazing, it IS amazing, and I didn't want to tell them and have them say something and ruin it.” 

“One of your mother's snide remarks is going to ruin our relationship?” 

“You know what I mean.” 

She can tell Luke is frustrated with her. She's frustrated with herself for not being able to explain this to him. This stupid fear. He takes a breath and starts again. “I don't know what you mean, actually. Can you try explaining it to me again?” He reaches up and fingers one of her curls, a comforting gesture. Luke doesn't have patience with very many people, but he always has patience with her.

“I'm afraid...look,” she sighs. “When I told my mother about my engagement before, she was angry at me and she barely said a word. When I told her what happened with Chris, she blamed me. She thought I had done the wrong thing, making him do the right thing. And I can't...” A tear slips down her cheek. Luke steps closer, a hand on her shoulder. “I just can't have that happen again. Not with you. Because...I love you.” 

She blinks back tears and looks up at him, expecting him to look as confused and lost as he had earlier, but he's smiling, that rare Luke smile to which she's grown so accustomed. “I love you, too,” he whispers. “And nothing your mother says is going to scare me away. You should know that by now.”

“I do.” She nods. She's always believed in Luke, believed him when he told her things would be okay with her parents or things would get fixed with Rory. She even believed him when she didn't believe in herself, when he told her she could do it, could make it, could be loved. But his belief in her now feels even more certain and special because she knows it's rooted not only in friendship but in love. 

“I love you,” she says again. Seeing Luke grin like that might not ever get old. 

“Same here,” he whispers in her ear. He gives her a minute to collect herself and fix her makeup before they head to Chilton. 

The weather is beautiful, the sun is shining, and the buildings of the school look less imposing than she remembered. They walk into the courtyard with Sookie and Jackson, her hand in Luke's, and although she's nervous to see her parents, she's grounded by Luke's confidence in her and buoyed by the looks he keeps giving her, like the two of them are the only ones in on the secret.

When her parents finally arrive, her mother of course has to create a scene by leaving a seat for Christopher. “He's not coming, Mom. He's away on business, but we're taking lots of pictures for him.” Her parents greet Sookie and Jackson and just as Richard is giving Luke his hand to shake, she blurts out, “Luke and I are dating now.” Luke struggles to contain his laughter and judging from the look on her dad's face, he is too.

Her mother goes wide-eyed for a moment before regaining her steely composure. “Well, it's about time.” Off Lorelai's surprised look. “Oh, now, Lorelai, don't look so shocked. We've had this conversation before. I suppose it was inevitable.”

When they all sit down again, Lorelai leans into Luke. “My mother said we were inevitable.”

“I'll take the compliment where I can get it.” He puts an arm around her shoulders and Lorelai puts a hand on his leg for a moment before the music starts and the graduates start to file out of the school into the courtyard. She can feel Emily's eyes on them and can feel the disappointment radiating off her, but for once, it doesn't matter. Her daughter is graduating from high school and attending Yale, she and her best friend put an offer on a property for their own inn, and the person who has been a constant in her and Rory's lives is there to see it all happen. And it just so happens that he loves her and she loves him back. 

_fin_

 


End file.
